James Potter & the Rape of Dumbledore's Office
by cascade-of-black-ink
Summary: James Potter goes to Hogwarts, befriends Sirius Black and everybody soon learns that they need to upgrade their security measures.
1. The First Day

Chapter 1: The First Day

James Potter couldn't wait. Today was his first day at Hogwarts. He was so excited he couldn't keep still in the taxi on the way to King's Cross station and his parents, Neil and Harriet Potter, had to frequently tell him to shut up in case the Muggle driver overheard his deciding over whether to join the Gryffindor House or Ravenclaw and get suspicious.

"Anyway, it's not for you to choose," Mrs. Potter snapped as she smoothed his messy, jet-black hair. "Goodness, your hair's impossible! Impossible, I tell you!"

Mr. Potter sighed and James stifled a laugh. "Just let it rest, Harrie. Who's going to care anyway?"

" 'Who's going to care?' Dumbledore, that's who! I can't let him see James looking like a stray dog, can I?"

Mr. Potter sighed again and shook his head, but he was smiling.

Finally they arrived at King's Cross station. Mrs. Potter counted out the money to the taxi driver while Mr. Potter, with James, struggled with the trunk in the boot. When they had finished taking it out, Mrs. Potter was still struggling with the Muggle money.

"One penny, two penny, tuppence, oh no! I'm not sure, wait, just give me another minute!" Mrs. Potter nearly shrieked when the taxi driver heaved a huge and impatient sigh.  
"Oh goodness, there's no need, Harrie. We'll just drop James off here then," said Mr. Potter quickly. He turned to James. "Now, you know what to do, don't you? Go to the barrier between Platform 9 and 10 – "

" – and lean against the barrier casually so that the Muggles don't notice, and slip into Platform 9 and ¾," James finished for him. Mr. Potter nodded. "Right you are! Well, uh, be good, and – "

" – finish your homework on time!" Mrs. Potter had abandoned her effort with the Muggle and now turned upon him with a sudden motherly ferocity. "Follow the school rules, listen to your teachers, study hard and DON'T GET YOURSELF EXPELLED."

"Right, right," Mr. Potter intervened quickly. "It's time for you to go now. Write to us, okay?"

James suddenly didn't feel like going to Hogwarts anymore. He felt as if he wouldn't be able to see them again. As if he could read his mind, Mr. Potter smiled encouragingly and nodded. "You're a big boy now, aren't you? You keep on staying in Hogwarts, where there's no television, and we might not need to get that pair of spectacles for you, all right? Cheer up. Just promise you'll write, okay?"

James nodded. Mrs. Potter kissed him on the forehead and handed him the handle of his trunk. "Goodbye, James! Have a lovely term!"

"Thanks, Mum, and bye!" He dragged his trunk onto the curb and waved at his parents. "Bye, Mum. Bye, Dad!"

They smiled and waved, and got into the taxi and they were gone.

* * *

Minutes after the Hogwarts Express took off for Hogwarts, James's compartment was knocked on. He looked from the window. A boy his age with dark hair and mischievous brown eyes was at the door. 

"Is there anyone else in this compartment?"

He shook his head and the boy entered. But he didn't sit.

"Hallo," he said instead, and held out a hand. "I'm Sirius Black."

James shook it and smiled. "James Potter. Er, sit down."

"Don't worry, I can take care of myself." Sirius put his trunk on the seat and sat.

They were quiet, until Sirius finally spoke up: "What house do you reckon you'll end up in?"

James looked up, surprised. He was thinking of the exact same thing. "Uh, I don't know."

"I think I'll get into Slytherin," his face turned dark and frowned at the window. "My whole family's Slytherin all through and through." He stared at James. "It's a terrible tradition."

James had to nod. Slytherins were famous for notoriety, so he had heard.

All of a sudden their compartment door slid open and a short, frightened-looking boy squeaked as he was pushed inside. Sirius and James jumped up; Sirius had his wand out.

A group of stocky boys were running away and laughing hysterically when Sirius and James stuck their heads out of their compartment. Sirius growled and pointed his wand at them.

"_Tarantallegra!_"

James's mouth fell open. Sirius could do proper magic already? Suddenly the whole group of boys was dancing and jerking around with their legs entwined. Sirius let out a highly amused laugh and, so did James. He ducked into the compartment and shut the door.

"Brilliant!" exclaimed James as they dropped back onto their seats. "How did you do that?"

"Just something I picked up from a nasty cousin," Sirius grinned and tucked his wand back into his robes. "Living with a bunch of has-been and would-be Slytherins sort of teaches you to get equally nasty, you know." James suddenly got a sickening turn in his stomach and Sirius caught the uncomfortable look.

"I mean to say, not that I go around jinxing people like that, but, well, they're bullies!"

"That's – that's right!" The small boy who had been quite forgotten on the floor spoke up rather timidly. He stood and grinned rather stupidly at Sirius. "How can I ever thank you!"

"Sit down then, right here beside me, and tell me your name."

"Peter Pettigrew," he replied and sat beside Sirius. James struggled not to laugh. His name fit his tiny stature. Sirius, however, laughed aloud again, his bark-like laugh, and said mercilessly, "Your mother wasn't a house-elf now, was she? You're so small!"

Peter Pettigrew turned crimson and looked so downcast that James immediately felt both sorry for him and angry at Sirius. "That was very mean of you, Sirius."

Sirius glared at him. "What do you mean? It was just a joke. And it certainly didn't concern you."

"No, but can't you see that you've made him upset?" James tried to ignore the adoring look that Peter was now giving him.

Sirius's face grew dark and cold. "I was just trying to make a joke."

"Yeah, well, it wasn't very funny."

That apparently, was the limit. Sirius stormed out of the compartment and slammed the compartment behind him so hard that there were cracks on the glass.

"Oh damn," Sirius muttered and turned behind him. "_Reparo_."

To James's wonder, the cracks were gone.

And so was Sirius.

* * *

The day had soured for James, with no one for company but Peter Pettigrew, who couldn't seem to take his eyes off him. 

Finally, Peter asked: "What's your name?"

James gave him such a look that Peter squeaked and quailed and instantly made James regret it. He just wasn't as good as Sirius when it came to being nasty.

"James Potter."

"And that – that horrible boy?"

James's head shot up so fast that Peter squeaked again. "He's not horrible."

"Well, he was, you know, he laughed at me for being so small!" Peter now stared at him, and James realised that he was getting braver.

"Yeah, but he chased those bullies away!" James couldn't believe what he was hearing, and his temper was flaring.

"He's not allowed to do magic outside of Hogwarts!" Peter proclaimed with a satisfactory note in his voice. "He can get expelled for that!"

"How do you know?" spat James.

"I read it in _Hogwarts: Charting the History of the School that Made Witchcraft and Wizardry Flourish_. It says so there. It's a school rule."

"Well, they won't know if no one told them, will they?"

"They have their ways," Peter smiled for the first time, and James didn't like it.

"Lunch trolley! Lunch trolley!" A plump black-haired woman with twinkling brown eyes stopped outside their compartment and said to them: "Anything off the trolley, my dears?"

James dug into his pocket and was glad to see twenty Galleons and fifteen Sickles to his expense. He spent five Galleons on an assortment of Chocolate Frogs, Licorice Wands, the new Bertie Botts's Every-Flavour Beans, Never-Melt Ice Cream Toffees, Ginger Fizz and Beetle Bombs while Peter bought an orchid-shaped, orange-flavoured Sugar Stalk. James was about to head back into the compartment when he spotted the extremely rare Unicorn Drop, which brought seven days of good luck with every suck, stashed among colourful packets of Cartwheel Candies. He reached out to grab it but another person had beat him to it.

"Too bad, James." He looked up and saw Sirius holding up the Unicorn Drop, grinning. "Today's just not your day." He paid for it and trotted away, whistling a cheerful tune that, if anything, only made James more irritated.

"Do you have any more Unicorn Drops?"

The plump woman shook her head sadly. "That's the last one. It's banned now because the Ministry found out that it contained a mild dosage of Felix Felicis." She snorted. "Like they couldn't use a drop themselves." She pushed her trolley further down the corridor.

James returned to his seat and tore apart a packet of Beetle Bombs so ferociously that they spilled onto the floor and exploded.

* * *

James was completely drenched by the time he stumbled out of the small, rickety boat that he had journeyed with the other first-years across the Hogwarts lake. The rain had fallen suddenly and heavily during the boat trip and consequently worsened his mood. To make things worse, his boat had almost tipped over and the panic of it had drove Peter to clutch at his robes so tightly that James had to shout so that he would release him. 

However, his spirit rose instantly when a stern woman called Professor McGonagall had led him and the other first-years into the Great Hall. The hall was warm, most importantly, and brilliantly lit with floating candles. The High Table was where the teachers sat, and right in the middle was Albus Dumbledore himself. James was at a complete loss of words, seeing him for the first time ever. His parents spoke very highly of him, and so did the wizarding world.

A dusty-looking and worn-out wizard's hat sat upon a stool just below the High Table. Suddenly, its brim opened, and it shouted out a song:

"Don't look at me that way, because I'm not here to play;

I'm here so I can Sort you, so you don't have to choose;

All Houses are fair, They're not here, nor neither there;

Though most will agree that Gryffindor's best, and the rest just can't contest;

It'sa House for all the brave, that bring their gallantry with them to their grave;

Hufflepuff is for the meek,and Ravenclaw the knowledge you seek;

Slytherin is ever so sly, theycan even outwit a fly;

But don't be frightened, just put me on;

The battle will still be won;

You'll get your House, you won't need to browse;

And who knows you'll find your spouse!"

Then the Sorting began. James saw the truth to his mother's words. He wasn't allowed to choose. His heart thudded when Sirius was up for Sorting.

"GRYFFINDOR!" The Sorting Hat screamed, and the Slytherin table booed loudly. Sirius, however, looked so overjoyed and disbelieving that he stayed right there on the stool, fixed in a manic smile, and Professor McGonagall had to snatch the Hat off his head and rapped his head once.

One by one, the students were Sorted, then James's attention was caught when a name was mentioned: "Evans, Lily!"

The girl herself, was as pretty as a lily: her hair was smooth and silky and her figure tall and petite. When she sat on the stool and placed the Hat on her head, he noticed that she had the most brilliant green eyes.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Instantly, James crossed his fingers and wished desperately that he was in Gryffindor too.

"Lupin, Remus!" also made him look. The boy was so thin and looked so tired that James expected him to faint any moment now.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

James was amazed at the number of people who had gotten into Gryffindor. Was there room for him?

Then, Peter's turn came. "Pettigrew, Peter!"

"Wish me luck, James!" Peter squeezed his hand and scuttled off. In his hurry he tripped and the Hall rang out in laughter. James was amused to see Professor McGonagall smiling too. Peter put the Hat delicately on his head and shut his eyes.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

James clapped his hands.

"Potter, James!"

Now his turn came. The moment of truth. He walked steadily towards the stool and put the Hat on. He heard a deep and wise-like voice whispering in his mind: "A lot of talent here, and mischief! But most of all, arrogance and courage. Yes . . . a lot of courage . . . so . . . GRYFFINDOR!"

James pushed the Hat off his head and ran towards the Gryffindor table, too happy for words, and ignoring the furious yells of Professor McGonagall. He saw Sirius waving at him and pointing at an empty seat beside him. James grinned and dropped into the seat.

"Gryffindor, James! We're in Gryffindor!"

"So you're speaking to me, now?" James looked at him hopefully.

Sirius smiled apologetically. "Yes, and I'm sorry that I behaved like an idiot." He held out his hand. "Friends?"

James took it enthusiastically. "Forever."


	2. The Mischief Begins

Author's note: Thanks for the reviews . . . they make my day! I'm not actually sure when James and Sirius became good friends, but I will assume that they hooked up in first year. This is really myinterpretation or something like that. As for the title: heh heh heh, you'll see what it means, the original was "Destruction of the Headmaster's Office" but it was too long . . . anyway, enjoy!

Disclaimer (I forgot this the last time, sorry!): These characters belong to J. K. Rowling

Chapter 2: The Mischief Begins

James awoke the next day feeling refreshed and ready to tackle anything. His good cheer was almost hampered by the presence of Peter, who insisted on following him to the bathroom because the other Gryffindors, apparently, had developed a liking to pushing him around. But he cheered up at the sight of Sirius waiting for him at the portrait hole of the Leaping Lion.

"Ready to go, James?"

"Yep, oh no, hang on, I've left my _Potions for Beginners_ behind."

"It's okay, I'll wait for you with Pettigrew here," Sirius gave Peter a sidelong look which made James laugh.

"All right then. _Valiant veal_."

The Lion gave a deafening roar and the portrait swung open. James climbed into the hole in such a hurry that just as he swung his leg into the common room, it made contact with a fellow human.

"OUCH!"

"Oh God, I'm so sorry!" he looked and saw that he had hit Lily Evans, the pretty girl who had made him wish that he was Sorted into Gryffindor. Her enchanting green eyes were furious at first, but then they softened. She smiled instead. "No problem, but you might want to, er, you know, watch where you throw your leg."

He nodded quickly. "Yes, yes, of course, I'm sorry if I'd hurt you or anything."

"Just, just my leg. That's all." She smiled again, such a smile that made James's heart flutter uncontrollably.

"Yeah, uh, okay, I'll see you around?"

"At Potions."

He nodded foolishly again. "Yeah. At, uh, Potions."

"See you."

"See you too." He watched as she climbed out the portrait hole and disappeared. For a moment, he stood there, grinning like an idiot, thinking of what had actually happened between him and Lily Evans, until the portrait hole swung open once again and Sirius stuck his head through it and yelled, "HURRY UP, LOVER-BOY!"

* * *

"I see what's going on," Sirius said slyly to James at the breakfast table, forcing him to avert his gaze from Lily Evans and hurriedly stuff a chunk of maple-syruped pancakes into his mouth.

Peter giggled. "We know what happened."

James swallowed the pancakes. "What are both of you talking about?"

"You know what we're talking about," Sirius put his fork down and wiped his mouth with a napkin. "That's it. I'm stuffed."

Against his own will, his face turned red. Had they known?

"Ah ha!" Sirius exclaimed. "You're blushing. Goodness are you a boy?"

"James is blushing, James is blushing!" Peter chanted. His chants drew the attention and laughter from other students.

"Shut up, both of you," he hissed and snatched up his bag, no longer in the mood for breakfast. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw Lily Evans laugh with her friend.

Sirius caught up with him. "Hey, James, be cool, okay? It's nothing."

"Oh, it's just a joke, is it?" James turned on him angrily once they were out of the Great Hall. "How would you feel if I found out who you liked and taunted you in front of everyone?"

"I'd feel the same way, James. The point is, a real guy doesn't let himself be bothered by silly things like this. Guys don't squabble over petty stuff like being teased."

"Yeah? Then who was it who walked out on me yesterday on the train?"

Sirius was about to answer when a voice boomed behind him, "Mr. Black!"

He turned around and found himself face to face with Professor McGonagall.

"Mr. Black, I believe you have committed a serious school offence yesterday on the Hogwarts Express."

James was horrified as the truth dawned on him: Peter was right. Sirius was going to be expelled. He looked at Sirius.

Sirius had his hands in the pockets of his robes but he was looking directly at her in the eye.

"Yes, I did, Professor. I performed the Tap-dancing Charm and the Repairing Charm yesterday."

"On who, exactly?" her voice this time was a little choked.

"On a group of Slytherins, and then later on the glass of the compartment door," he replied calmly. James was shocked and amazed by his stark honesty. He expected Professor McGonagall to expel him anytime now.

But to his utter surprise, she said, "Well, I appreciate your honesty very much, Mr. Black, so, well, I will let you off today with a warning," her voice became stern again. "If I catch you breaking any school rule again, I will not hesitate to bring you to the Headmaster. But for now, as a punishment, fifty points from Gryffindor for such misbehaviour. Yes, Mr. Potter, fifty points from my very own House!"

James couldn't believe his ears. Fifty points at one go! Sirius however, looked just as calm as ever. "Thank you, Professor." He grabbed James's arm and almost dragged him down the great marble steps. He didn't release him nor did he speak until they were down in the dungeons.

Sirius spoke first. "Fifty points, huh? Should be a hundred, don't you think?"

"Are you joking, Sirius? You could have been expelled!"

"Sssh!" He hissed and yanked James with him behind a pillar.

"What?"

Sirius pointed at a tall girl with luxurious black hair tied up in an extremely neat ponytail. She looked as if she had applied too much mascara, so much so that she looked like a raccoon. James snickered and Sirius turned slightly pink, but his mouth was screwed into a scowl.

"She's my cousin, Bellatrix Black. And the pale girl beside her," Sirius pointed again, and James noticed the ghostly pale girl walking beside Bellatrix. "That's Narcissa, her sister. Bellatrix is elder and she's in the fourth this year. Narcissa's a second-year." He made a face. "They're the worst sort of females I ever had to put up with. Especially Bellatrix, she bullies. But my mother loves them. And their sister, Andromeda too. But Andromeda's nice. She's in Ravenclaw." He smiled at James. "She thought me spells."

James stared at Bellatrix and Narcissa until they were out of sight. "They're in Slytherin, too?"

Sirius nodded and made a funny noise. "Yeah. Come on now, I'm pretty sure Potions is on this floor."

* * *

Potions, his first lesson that year, was taught by an impossibly fat man called Professor Horace Slughorn. James immediately disliked him as soon as he had been greeted when he and Sirius had arrived at the dungeon several minutes earlier than the rest of the class.

"Well, well, hello, boys. Early, aren't we? Who are you, may I ask?"

"James Potter."

"Sirius Black."

"Sirius Black!" Professor Slughorn's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "My goodness, from the most noble and ancient House of Black?"

Sirius squirmed a little. "Yes, Professor."

"Ah, Sirius! Sirius! You are well known to me, yes, you are! Did you know that I had seen you when you were but a little baby? Oh yes, it was your mother's cousin wasn't it, Araminta Meliflua, who used to work for the Ministry in the Pest Advisory Bureau before she moved on to the Goblin Liaison Office, ah yes! Great friend of mine! How is she now?"

Sirius smiled uneasily. "She's, er, still alive, and trying to get support for Muggle-hunt – "

"Ah, yes, yes, yes, yes," Professor Slughorn interjected immediately. "But still, quite a genius though, wasn't she? How is your mother, Quintillia?"

At that, Sirius completely abandoned his good manners altogether. "She's fine," he said curtly.

"Is she? Well, I never saw a more beautiful lady than she was in her day! Yes, you won't believe it, she was a favourite of Witch Weekly until they decided that they were bored of her face," he clucked his tongue and shook his head. "Poor woman. She was never quite the same after that, are you sure she's all right?"

"I'm very sure, Professor. She just yelled at me last week and threatened to throw me bodily into the Thames when I had set fire to her hydrangea bushes." Sirius laughed shortly. "Yes, she's still right in the head."

James fought not to laugh at the horrified look at Professor Slughorn's face. Suddenly, he caught sight of another apparently famous person and exclaimed a little too loudly, "Malfoy, isn't it, Lucius Malfoy?"

Sirius whipped around and a look of pleasure alighted on his face. James followed his direction. A boy with pale blonde hair neatly slicked behind was smiling, but a little confused at which way he should go. Finally he waved at Sirius and headed instead for Professor Slughorn.

James readjusted the bag on his shoulder and said to Sirius, "Come on, or we won't get any seats."

Sirius followed him to the back and they dropped their bags onto the floor and retrieved their _Potions for Beginners_. James was reading halfway through a set of orders on how to brew a Dizziness Draught when someone banged into his cauldron and toppled him over too.

"What the – "

"I'm sorry," a hollow and low voice said. James looked up and saw a very sickly thin boy with a hooked nose and greasy black hair picking up his books from inside James's cauldron.

"It's, it's okay," James said and bent to help him pick up the books.

Sirius brandished his wand and said, "Hey James, leave it to me." He pointed his wand at the cauldron and said, "_Accio books!_"

The books suddenly flew up through the cauldron mouth and hit the boy in the face in their hurry to get to Sirius. James dodged them just in time. Sirius caught the books neatly and handed them to the boy, his face flushed a little amid the clapping and cheering from other students.

"Here you go, and, er, sorry about the face," Sirius smiled apologetically.

The boy looked up slowly and his face was contorted with a hatred that James had never thought possible. He looked as though he wanted to swallow Sirius whole.

He snatched the books roughly from Sirius and stuffed them into the bag before saying, "I'll wipe that grin of your face, git."

That instantly wiped the grin off Sirius's face. "Are you calling me a git?"

"Stop it, okay?" James was nervous now. Fortunately, Professor Slughorn had clapped his hands up at the front and was now calling for the class to begin.

The boy whirled around and stalked off moodily. Sirius scowled. "What did I do now? I helped him collect his books."

"And you hit him in the face," James muttered and, under Professor Slughorn's orders, turned to page 5 and began to read 'The Subtle Art of Potion-Making.'

Sirius snorted.

"Now," chirped Professor Slughorn when James was about to finish the last sentence, "please turn to page 6, just the next page, and read about the Cheerful Concoction, a fairly simple potion that we will do today, if you please, but first: what _is _a Cheerful Concoction?"

Two hands shot into the air. One, James noticed with a weak heart, belonged to Lily Evans, while the other belonged to the boy who hated Sirius for making his books slam into his face.

Professor Slughorn tipped his head in Lily's direction. "Yes?"

"The Cheerful Concoction instantly improves the mood of a bad-tempered living organism, and can be applied to not only humans but also plants and animals. It is magenta in colour and light to taste," she recited.

"Excellent! Excellent! Ten points for Gryffindor!" Sirius shook his head disbelievingly and James grinned a little weakly.

"The Cheerful Concoction is, like I said earlier, relatively simple, but its ingredients are difficult to find. Can anybody tell me, what are its ingredients?"

The same hands were up again, and Sirius was shaking with silent laughter.

Professor Slughorn nodded this time, in the hook-nosed boy's direction.

"Two fists of a newly bloomed dahlia's petals, a tail of a cat, a jar of goblin drool, the full bones of a red herring and the skin of a newly hatched lizard," he recited confidently.

"Well done, ten points to Slytherin, Severus, I mean, er, Mr. Snape," Professor Slughorn beamed at him.

Sirius and James snickered. Sirius mumbled to James, "Slughorn's the Head of Slytherin House." He snorted again. "_Snivellus_."

James could only grin.

When Professor Slughorn had ordered the class to begin brewing the Concoction, Peter Pettigrew burst in through the dungeon door. Everyone looked up, startled, and James almost dropped his goblin drool.

"Why so late?" Professor Slughorn asked a little too cheerfully. Now that the tension had dissipated, the class returned to work.

"I lost my way, Professor," panted Peter.

"Very well, it's only your first, I mean, second day, here. Run along now, we're doing Cheerful Concoctions today."

James crossed his fingers, hoping that he would not join them. Peter, to his relief, went over to the only partnerless student in the dungeon: Severus Snape.

Sirius grinned as he dropped his dahlia petals into the cauldron and stirred them clockwise once. "Poor Pettigrew. That Snivellus can really use a Cheerful Concoction right now. Look at him," he nudged James, "writing on the book as he holds the ladle like that. It'll be a blessing if he doesn't scald anyone."

James laughed and accidentally broke off a herring bone. "Gosh, look what you made me do." And they were engulfed in fits of uncontrollable laughter as if they had actually taken the Concoction themselves.

Some time later, James decided that his potion was the right shade of magenta and scooped them into a small vial that Professor Slughorn provided. Sirius shook his head and shrugged, his potion was a murky and unfathomable colour. "That's it, I've got no talent for Potions."

"Snivellus on the other hand doesn't seem too accomplished either," James looked in Snape's direction. Snape was still scrutinising his book and his cauldron was letting off pleasant pink bubbles.

Sirius quickly dipped his vial in the cauldron and corked it. "Watch this, James." He stood and pretended to drift in Snape's direction. James watched with fascination, his uncorked vial still in his hands.

Sirius edged closer towards his cauldron and winked. James gave a thumbs up back, wondering what Sirius will do. Suddenly a girl hissed into his ear, "What – is – he – doing?"

James turned around to see Lily Evans looking furiously at him. James shrugged hastily. "I don't know." She pursed her lips together and marched off.

He watched as Sirius stood close to Snape's cauldron, Snape still oblivious to Sirius's presence, pointed his wand at it, and muttered something.

The pink bubbles disappeared and Sirius dashed back towards their table, shaking with quiet laughter.

"What did you do, Sirius?" James whispered to him.

Sirius pointed his wand at his cauldron and said, "_Evanesco_." The potion disappeared, his cauldron as clean as ever. "And this, with a sleight of hand youcouldn't possibly have caught." He took out a bag of Timed Dungbombs.

James's eyes widened and they watched as Snape, his eyes still fixed on the book, lowered his ladle into the cauldron, heard a dull 'thunk', and, seething with rage, looked into it. The cauldron exploded, blackened his face and singed his curtain of hair.

James and Sirius collapsed onto the floor with hysterical laughter.


	3. The Incredibly Odd Temporary Teacher

Author's note: Thanks to ARandomPerson for the pleasant review! I'm glad that it was funny. I had a difficult time figuring out how to end the chapter . . . and so the grudge begins! In this chapter, Tom Riddle makes a special appearance, even though it totally contradicts The Half-Blood Prince, but anyway, I hope this one is just as entertaining! And by the way, does anyone know the names of Sirius's parents? I'd really appreciate the info, okay, on with the story!

Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that these characters belong to J. K. Rowling and I am only using them to manage some mischief.

Chapter 3: The Incredibly Odd Temporary Teacher

The incident at Potions seemed to have sealed the enmity between Severus Snape and Sirius Black forever. Snape had taken to hexing Sirius quietly whenever they passed each other, be it between lessons or during meals. Sirius was tempted to hex him back, if it weren't for James and Peter who held him back.

"Don't – risk – it, Sirius," James said between gritted teeth as he struggled to hold Sirius back from charging at Snape, who was smirking so satisfactorily that James felt like hitting him too. Peter nodded quickly. But it was until one day when Sirius suddenly found himself hanging by his ankle in the air that spurred Sirius to take action.

"Don't stop me, James," Sirius hissed as he saw Snape turn around the corner. He tiptoed after Snape and pointed his wand at his back.

"_Tarantallegra!_"

Snape's legs quickly twisted together and he started to dance and hop around jerkily. The sight was so hilarious that everyone stopped to watch and laugh. Sirius laughed as well, but James didn't find it too amusing. "Come on, Sirius, we'll be late for Defence – "

"I won't miss this for the world," Sirius said, a little too loudly and Snape's head automatically jerked at his direction.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!"

"How much, Snivellus? Ten Galleons? Twenty? Thirty? Name the figure, man."

"YOU IDI –"

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" Sirius's eyes widened as Professor McGonagall burst through the crowd and, seeing Snape in that condition, dropped her books. "Who did this to you?"

"SIR – SIRIUS –"

Sirius shoved past James and ran for it.

"SIRIUS BLACK!" Professor McGonagall yelled at the top of her lungs, her face turned as red as a tomato. "Come out! Didn't I already warn you?" Suddenly she stormed towards James and shook his shoulders.

"Where is Sirius Black, Potter?"

James, too startled for words, shook his head and nodded at the same time. He didn't want to give Sirius away, but the look on Professor McGonagall's face was scarier . . .

Finally, he said, trying to be as flat as possible, "I don't know, Professor."

She looked at him again, a little questioningly, as if testing him, challenging him to spill the truth.

James kept silent, determined not to betray his friend.

"Very well, Potter," she said a little too softly. "Twenty points from Gryffindor for such rebellious behaviour. _And_ I am taking this matter to the Headmaster." Her eyes glinted dangerously and James lowered his head.

She muttered the counter-curse for Snape and picked up her scattered books with a wave of her wand. "Any more cases such as this and that student will be immediately taken to the Headmaster," she said savagely, looking at each student so fiercely that they backed away.

She stormed off and the crowd drifted off. Snape picked up his books and occasionally gave James a bitter look.

James didn't bother to help him this time.

"What? Take the matter to Dumbledore?" Sirius exclaimed, aghast, when James recounted to him all that had happened after he had run off. They were waiting outside the Defence against the Dark Arts classroom.

James nodded.

"What?" Sirius shouted again. "Snivellus hexes me ALL the time! And I didn't even tip Slughorn off!"

"Try tipping Dumbledore," Peter suggested.

Sirius shook his head. "All he does is stay in his office. Some kind of Headmaster he is."

"Then you'll just have to see him," James said. "Find a way to meet him personally."

Sirius sighed and readjusted his bag. "But he's the Headmaster. I'd rather take my chances with McGonagall."

"Yeah you should, if you want to be expelled."

Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but he never got a chance. The classroom door opened and a frightened-looking stream of second-year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws filed out. James noticed that they all looked as if they had had their strength sapped out of their wits.

"What's wrong with them?" Sirius muttered, looking at each in disbelief.

Their line was moving forwards and Sirius, James and Peter entered the classroom, a little cautiously.

A skinny and tall man dressed in velvet black robes that seemed to weigh his shoulders down stood at the front desk. He looked at each of the students with a greedy glint in his eyes, and James shivered, as if the room had suddenly become cold. He, Sirius and Peter took the last table. He wanted to get away as far as possible from this weirdo.

"Good morning, class," he rasped. It sent chills down his spine. "My name, is Professor Thomas Riddle, and sadly, I am only here for one day. This is my probation period . . . but if you co-operate with me, I am sure that you will all be repaid with glory and fame unlimited . . ."

James snickered. Instantly, Professor Riddle's beady black eyes turned towards him, and squinted.

"You are James Potter, are you not?" his thin lips formed a snarl-like smile. James gulped and turned white, but he nodded. Professor Riddle drifted towards him and peered closely at him. James could smell his foul breath and see the earwax in his ears.

"James Potter . . ." he said to himself, and nodded with approval. He offered a shriveled hand towards him. "Come with me, James, I present you the honour of being the volunteer for today's lesson . . ."

He grinned weakly, more frightened by the prospect of what he would do to him than the black of his teeth. "I'm sorry, sir, but I have a stomach ache, and I can't – "

"Oh, but of course you can!" Professor Riddle's smile grew, if it was possible, even more manic. His eyes flashed and danced with a sinister pleasure. "Don't be afraid, James, you are, after all, a Gryffindor, are you not?"

Soft laughter bubbled across the room. James set his jaw and said firmly, "I'm not afraid, Professor. I'm not."

"Very well! Then come with me . . ."

James followed the Professor to the front of the class and waited by his desk while Professor Riddle rummaged through a drawer and finally, with a sigh of triumph, came out with a ring with a snake engraved on it.

"This is no ordinary ring . . ." Professor Riddle rasped again, his voice sounded a little snake-like now. "It is . . . a _Horcrux_," he finished triumphantly.

James gasped involuntarily, and so did many of the class. Some girls screamed a little and covered their faces. Sirius's eyes widened and Peter whimpered. But Lily Evans looked blissfully calm.

Professor Riddle grinned again. "Ah, yes, I see that many of you realise what this us . . . a powerful Dark object, no? Yes . . . full of evil . . . it was very fortunate of me to have been able to discover this particular one . . . yes . . . this is one with evil intentions! Who knows how a Horcrux was produced? Come now don't be shy!"

A few hands rose slowly.

Professor Riddle pointed at a plump, sandy-haired boy. "You, boy! What's your name?"

"Kingsley Shacklebolt, sir."

"Ah! Fine name! Are you pure-blood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Very well! What is your answer?"

"A Horcrux is the insertion of a part of one's soul into an object, so as to, er, preserve it, and you need to, er, kill someone to do it, right?"

"Right! Right! Well done, Shacklebolt! Ten points to Gryffindor." He turned towards James and grinned. "Now for my demonstration! James, if you please, choose any object in this classroom! Parchment, or quill or book, it doesn't matter!" His eyes gleamed.

James looked around, unsure of what to choose. Finally, he pointed at a small, black diary that lay on his desk. "That one, sir."

Professor Riddle whirled around. "That diary! Ah, yes, that's a good one, no? I haven't used it for ages . . . right!" He produced a jar of tarantulas that had been silently lurking underneath his desk. He drew one out and placed it on his desk, much to the displeasure of some girls, who gasped and one said, "Eww."

"A Horcrux, as Mr. Shacklebolt was kind enough to enlighten us, is the insertion of one's soul into it by ripping it apart! And to that, you have to kill . . ."

He pointed his wand at the spider.

"_Avada kedavra!_"

There was a flash of green light, and the spider twitched, then it died. James was horrified. He had killed, in front of students! Professor Riddle didn't seem to have noticed all their discomfort. He continued by saying, "_Horcrucio diary!_" The tip of his wand glowed bright green and he touched the diary with it, tapping three times. The green from the wand dissipated into the diary and looked as if it was absorbed into it.

"Now, that diary contains part of my soul!" he exclaimed and grinned again. He turned to face the class, a big part of which looked either ready to faint or sprint out of the class. He held a diary up to the class to see. "This diary is now a Horcrux . . . now you have all known how it is done! But this is very advanced magic, yes, beyond NEWT levels, but all the same, worthy of knowledge! Does anyone have any questions?"

Lily Evans raised her hand, her face as pale as a ghost.

"Yes? What is your name, lovely girl?"

"Lily Evans, sir."

"Lily . . . very nice name . . . yes, what is your question?"

"How do you destroy a Horcrux?"

The grin disappeared from his face. The Gryffindors held their breath. Lily Evans looked at him intently, waiting for an answer.

He answered coldly, "There is no spell for a Horcrux. You have to destroy it mortally."

"Can you show us, Professor?" Lily Evans asked again.

"NO!" he shouted so loudly that she shrank back into her chair and James backed away. He swooped upon her and came nose to nose with her. "You want to know, now do you? You do not belong here, Muggle-born! The great Salazar Slytheirn writhes at the sound of your voice!" He brandished the ring at her and grinned again. Her eyes were wide with fear and James could see that tears were threatening to spill.

A loud ring of the bell startled James and awoke the class from this nightmare. Professor Riddle tore his face away from Lily Evans and drifted back towards his desk. "That's all for today students good day see you bye bye!" He stuffed his diary into his bag and stormed out of the classroom, leaving a foul stench behind.

James returned to his table to retrieve his bag when he saw Lily Evans collecting her books in silent tears. "Hey, Lily, are you all right?"

"Yes! No!" she didn't look at him. "Please don't . . . just get away from me!" she shoved past him and ran out of the class.

Sirius handed him his bag and they walked together towards the Great Hall for lunch. "Some teacher that was, huh?"


End file.
